


Lead Kisses

by Ostrava



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Fluff, Genji is the voice of reason, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sad, Self-Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-16 05:29:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19311601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ostrava/pseuds/Ostrava
Summary: Five times Hanzo took a bullet for Jesse and one time Jesse did the same for Hanzo.





	Lead Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> Been planning on writing one of these for a while, so in the middle of a blackout (which are quite common in my country) I took my phone and began writing and this is the result.
> 
> For those of you waiting for the next chapter of **Send Me No Flowers** , I assure you that I'm working on it. I used this fic as a small exercise to see if the writer's block would finally go away, and it worked.
> 
> Well, Thank you very much and I hope you enjoy the story.  
> (P.S. this is not beta-ed, so any mistakes are on me and I apologize beforehand.)

_I'll take the shot for you,_

_I'll be the shield for you,_

_Needless to say,_

_I'll stand in your way._

_**The Shot, by The Rasmus** _

* * *

 

The first time it happened, Jesse had been completely unaware of the Talon goon closing in to his position. Truth to be told, the team had almost been completely overwhelmed by the enemy troops at the beginning of the mission, but somehow they managed to turn the situation around and almost got out of there completely unscathed. When Hanzo intercepted the bullet that was aimed towards Jesse, the archer had ended up in the medical bay for a week before he was cleared for action.

Hanzo claimed that it had been an overlook from his part, that he had not been paying enough attention and that the enemy had caught him by surprise. Everyone but Genji believed him. Still, the younger Shimada sibling remained quiet for the time being. He had his suspicions, but this was his brother's secret anyway, he would not interfere unless things got out of control.

The second time, and needless to say, Hanzo once more stood in the way of a bullet aimed at Jesse's chest. This time, the cowboy had been witness of it all, he even carried Hanzo into their transport without saying a word. When they reached the medical bay and the archer was deemed fit to handle visitors, Jesse was the first one to enter the room, his face gave no way to know how this had affected him, and the inner turmoil he carried was well hidden underneath a mask of stoicism.

"Why did you do it?" the cowboy questioned right after he walked in. The overhead lights made Hanzo's skin look even paler than he already was due to blood loss. Jesse tried to avoid any harshness in his voice. In truth, he was worried for the archer, as it seemed he had become a death seeker, and Jesse had seen plenty of those in the time he had spent in Blackwatch. In his search for redemption perhaps Hanzo believed that it would be a worthy death if he was to lay down his life for one of his teammates, and Jesse was not about to allow that.

For what reason? Honestly, not even Jesse had a concrete answer. Or perhaps it was because he refused to admit to his feelings.

Both men sat there within the confines of the small room, the smell of strong disinfectant and the quiet atmosphere became suffocating and unsettling after a while, and yet, the archer remained silent.

"Hanzo, please." The cowboy all but begged, "You don't need to do this, if this is how you think you'll get redemption... just stop it.” the outlaw sighed loudly, he applied some pressure to his temples afterwards. “Don't throw your life away, let alone for me." ' _You deserve better'_ , McCree's mind supplied.

And that was where he was wrong, because for some reason Hanzo neither could nor would be swayed. So, the archer remained quiet and very still he refused to even acknowledge what was being asked of him. He cared for Jesse too much as to allow him to get hurt if he could stop if from happening.

“We're friends, aren't we?” the question left a bitter aftertaste in Jesse's mouth. He wished he could have said something entirely different. More meaningful.

The archer gave a stiff nod in response, for it was true. They were friends and apparently that was all they would ever be.

The silence continued to stretch between them, for a couple of minutes that seemingly stretched into an eternity. “I can take care of myself, and I want you to promise me..." Jesse did beg on that moment because he was getting desperate. “Promise that you won't do that again.” The archer remained motionless and in Jesse's eyes, Hanzo resembled a marble statue.

Somehow, the archer felt a tight grip in his heart, as if the words from the gunslinger were a heavy chain placed over his beating heart. _'Never knew that love could hurt like this.'_ Hanzo thought, for he hoped that Jesse's worry would be about something more than the friendship they shared. Love that is not corresponded, can hurt more than any bullet would.

"The worth of a man is his actions, for he is all he has ever done." the archer retorted right after Jesse stood up to leave, hands formed into fists. He was unable to voice out his love out of fear of rejection, this was the best he could do, he needed to keep Jesse alive no matter the cost.

Jesse huffed and left without saying anything else. He knew he would never be able to change Hanzo's mind, but it hurt him to hear the archer say that. It hurt because he had fallen in love with Hanzo. It had been slow at first, just as a small fire begins with a single spark until it becomes a raging inferno that ends up consuming everything in its path.

He had fallen for Hanzo in those nights spent drinking together under the stars, legs dangling over the cliffs with the loud crash of the waves underneath. With conversations about fighting methods and techniques that evolved into talks about their taste in liquor, and on one moonlight night, they spoke about their favorite colors and most fond memories. Things had been simpler back then, and perhaps, Jesse wonders now if it would be any different if he had said anything about the way he felt back then.

McCree wonders his feelings would have been reciprocated, or if Hanzo would have rejected him. Uncertainty might as well be the end of him at this rate.

 

**)-(-)-(**

 

The third time, Jesse could swear that he was about to lose his mind. Hanzo had unleashed the dragons upon their enemy, but in the onslaught and among all the confusion, one of Talon's agents had escaped.

While the rest of the team was combing the area, no one noticed the Talon assassin until it was almost too late, yet, Hanzo jumped down from the perch he was at and shielded Jesse with his body once more. The blade pierced his torso with vicious effectiveness and the archer fell to his knees while Jesse finished the assassin with one shot between the eyes.

Hanzo somehow, managed to stand back up without any assistance. Still, Jesse tried to offer his help but the archer denied with his head.

“I am fine.” Hanzo claimed after a few moments as he straightened his back and placed a firm hand over the open flesh, the pain flaring up as he touched it, yet he refused to let himself be affected any more than necessary by such an inconsequential wound. He would never admit to his pain and vulnerable state on that moment, he would not let anyone see him weakened, even when the blood was seeping between his fingers.

But as fate would have it, the archer became light headed due to blood loss and passed out in the cowboy's arms. Jesse became alarmed for a moment and began to feel for Hanzo's pulse on his neck, when he found it he then began to put pressure on the wound to try and still the blood flow. A couple of minutes later, the team's healers arrived but McCree refused to let go of the archer.

The cowboy carried Hanzo to the transport, face grim and a determined stride on his feet while his hold upon the archer was firm yet gentle. He sighed while the Shimada's heir wound was tended by Ana and Lucio's experienced hands, Jesse kept himself out of the way, but he refused to let Hanzo out of his sight. He mulled over thoughts, both old and new.

“Something's gotta give.” he mumbled, pensive stare fell upon the unconscious man across the room. “At this rate one of us will end up dead, either shot down by the enemy or just because worry would end up killing me.”

 

**)-(-)-(**

 

After Hanzo regained consciousness, Genji was the first to visit him in the med-bay.

“Anija,” The swordsman began right after taking a seat and removing his visor. “you cannot keep on doing this.”

“I do not fear death.” the archer exclaimed with a determined look in his eyes as his hands formed into fist.

“I know brother,” Genji replied in resignation, “what you find challenging is _living_.”

After that, neither of them spoke anymore. Hanzo kept his eyes on the wall, as if he was refusing to acknowledge the second presence within the room along with the truths he had been told. Silence continued between the brothers, and it became as heavy as a boulder until the younger Shimada sibling left the room.

“Talk to him Hanzo.” Genji said from the doorway, “Love is not only about sacrifice.” with that, the swordsman left the premises and Hanzo became lost within his own mind.

The archer did not know what to do. He could probably just talk with McCree and have his feelings out in the open and be finally rejected, for that was what he expected. He had Jesse's friendship, but not his heart. If he spoke up, at least the uncertainty would be over.

But what could Hanzo do if all he had ever known through life had been _duty_ and _sacrifice?_ Nothing is attained without giving up something else in return. Other than that, he came to the conclusion that if he was to confess to Jesse, the cowboy would only want to be with the archer for pity or out of gratefulness for saving his life repeatedly.

“I would rather die before receiving pity _disguised_ as love.” he nodded slowly, then after a few minutes went by, Hanzo fell asleep. He was tired of going in circles on the same train of thought, or perhaps it had been due to the painkillers that were being injected into his bloodstream via the IV bag that was hanging above his head. He fell into a dreamless sleep nonetheless.

Jesse had walked into the medical bay and then entered the room where Hanzo was kept, only to find the sleeping form of the archer. The cowboy stood beside the bed and without saying a single word, he placed a wild blue flower on the small table that was set by the bed; he had found said flower growing in a small patch of grass near one of the many cliffs that surrounded the watchpoint. He had a whole speech prepared for Hanzo, it was about how he felt and a few questions about the feelings of the archer as well, to see if his love was reciprocated, but alas, he would have to wait once more. He just hoped that the next time, it won't come to the point in which he would have Hanzo bleeding out in his arms after falling unconscious, to be running through the battlefield not knowing if the man in his arms was merely passed out or dead.

They needed to talk, and that conversation could not wait any longer. There would be time for Jesse to admit out loud that he has had a crush on the archer for months, of that he was certain.

But for now, he just wanted to know what all of these sacrifices truly meant. Where they the result of a man seeking redemption through death? Or were they a result of Hanzo's will to protect the person he loves even if it meant giving up his own life so that Jesse could live?

Jesse thought about leaving, but after giving it some thought he concluded that he would be better off waiting for Hanzo to wake up while he was there, so he sat on the small -and rather uncomfortable- hospital chair, wrapped his serape tighter around his shoulders and braced himself for a long wait.

McCree fell asleep a few minutes later and Hanzo opened his eyes and found his heart beating rapidly at the scene in front of him. The cowboy sat there, with his hat covering most of his face and his arms crossed over his chest and legs stretched in front of him. The archer smiled at the sight and as he turned his head to the side he found the flower over the table, he took it and placed it above his right ear.

Without giving himself any more time to hesitate any longer, Hanzo got out of the bed as quietly as he could after he had carefully removed the needle from the IV from the back of his hand. The archer stretched and placed both of his feet onto the cold floor, he shivered for a few seconds after that but he needed to get out of there. He walked out of the room without looking back.

“This is for the best...” he whispered as he tried to convince himself while he walked down the corridor. "Still, walking away hurts more than a bullet." Regardless of his feelings, weeks passed and the archer continued to avoid any contact with Jesse.

Even their nightly reunions for drinks were canceled. Hanzo would never admit out loud that it was out of fear of what Jesse would say or ask.

He feared rejection as much as he feared his own feelings.

 

**)-(-)-(**

 

Jesse knows that Hanzo is a fine warrior, he knows that the archer would not get wounded without a cause, he's not sloppy or does anything unplanned, he is methodical. Yet, when Hanzo got wounded a fourth and then a fifth, time it became too much.

At first, and after receiving a fourth wound in order to protect Jesse, Hanzo kept it to himself and tended to it on his own because he did not want McCree to find out. He failed to notice, or perhaps refused to accept, that infection had settled in.

Hanzo had believed he was coming down with the common cold at first. But the fever would not go down and his wound was not healing properly, still, when he was deployed to Russia, the archer did not mention a single thing about the infection to anyone on the team. His fever caused his shots to miss more than once, yet Hanzo would not say a word about it. But the moment he took another bullet for Jesse, he had jumped in front of the cowboy without thinking.

When the archer came to, he was laying on a bed in the medical bay which he had been avoiding since day one in the base, but ended in it more often than not in recent months. Even though he went on thinking that others were more important than him, that he didn't deserve treatment for his wounds. Dr. Ziegler berated on him for hiding his wounds then looked at him in the eye and sighed.

“Hanzo,” she said, “whenever you need assistance, let me know. That is why I am here.”

The archer nodded in response but refused to speak, he only moved to the side to reach over in order to reach for yet another blue flower left for him on the table by the bed.

After the doctor left, Genji made his way into the room and sat on the little plastic chair and stared at his brother for the longest time. “You have to tell him _anija_.” frustration was evident in the swordsman's voice. “You cannot keep doing this. Tell him or I'll do it, and maybe then this will finally end.”

“There is nothing to be done.” the archer answered. “I do not deserve him. And he does not feel the same either.”

“How can you say that? You have not told him anything yet, so you don't know. Besides, you deserve the world brother. Never doubt that.” Genji retorted, the concern in his voice was evident. “If you talk to him you got nothing to lose Hanzo, but I can tell that this silence, that all of this secrecy, is killing you.”

“If it kills me, then so be it.” in truth, Hanzo had not actually given it too much thought to the fact that perhaps, one of these days, the bullets and other lacerations he received or would probably receive while covering Jesse, would end up killing him. He believed that perhaps that could be for the better, that taking all of his love to the grave would be the better choice to that of ruining the friendship he had with the cowboy. "What I feel hurts more than any bullet, and death would be a release from this pain."

“Hanzo please,” Genji stood up and held his brother's hand, “stop torturing yourself and give this a chance. Talk to him, you might be surprised by the answer.” Genji then left the room with a quiet Hanzo behind.

Of course Genji knew something, but he wanted those two idiots to finally come together on their own terms, but what he did not want was for his brother to die in the process because Hanzo seemed to believe that all he was good for was being a human shield and a cold hearted killer. His elder brother was not remorseless neither was he heartless, he had never been, nor would he ever be. All that Genji wanted was for his brother to be finally happy.

 

**)-(-)-(**

 

Jesse allowed curiosity to get the better of him so he took the records from the surveillance cameras, satellite and drones from their past missions and watched to see the patterns in them. Jesse saw Hanzo getting in the way of those bullets meant for him, more than once.

Is not that Jesse is a bad fighter, in fact he is a great sharpshooter and quite the strategist, but somehow Hanzo was always there watching his back all the time, the man was impressive and truly skilled, but it made Jesse wonder why he did so in the first place. They were friends of course, but this seemed to be rooted in something else, something deeper that the cowboy could not put a label on.

No one gets in the way of harm, risking their life unless it is for something valuable, something _cherished_.

McCree ended up talking to Genji of all people, he needed to know what was with all that and since Hanzo had been avoiding him, McCree assumed that the younger Shimada sibling could provide him with some answers. Because Jesse and Hanzo were friends, yet the archer had risked his life more than once for Jesse and that made McCree feel hopeful yet afraid at the same time.

“You are an _idiot_ Jesse.” Genji said to McCree the exact same moment he saw the cowboy walking into the kitchen. Somehow, the swordsman simply knew what it was that Jesse was going to ask, so he went one step ahead and straight to the point.

“What did I do now?”

“You haven't done anything, and that right there _is_ the problem.” the bearer of the green dragon said, “Come on, you have to tell him. Or are you going to allow this to go on for a longer time?”

“There's no hiding from you, is there?” Jesse threw himself on one of the chairs.

“No, there is no hiding.” he shrugged, “Besides, you two need to talk.”

“He's avoiding me.”

“Then find him, dammit.” Genji replied in a harsh tone, “This can't go on. Do you want him to die? Because his luck will run out one of these days.”

“I ain't letting that happen.” Jesse was at a loss of words. Of course that he didn't want Hanzo to get hurt once more or to end up dead.

“Then find him and talk!” Genji huffed, he was losing his patience. “You two are acting like _children_.”

 

**)-(-)-(**

 

The moment in which it was Jesse's turn to take a bullet for the archer, came to happen right in the middle of a mission.

Everything had been going smoothly, until Hanzo jumped down from the catwalk he had been at, and Jesse, who knew perfectly well what was going to happen and in a quick move, took Hanzo by the waist when he had been close enough and turned both their bodies around. In doing it so, the bullet that the archer had meant to intercept with his body went into the cowboy's shoulder.

That gave Hanzo an opening with enough time to shoot their assailant while Jesse laughed.

“That'll learn 'em.” the cowboy said, his words were followed by a small grunt as the pain in his shoulder seemed to spread. He then set his eyes on Hanzo's face, as he was yet to let go of the archer. “At least I paid you back a little for all the times you've saved me.”

“I did not do it so that you could be indebted to me. I did it because...” Hanzo chewed on his lips, suddenly he did not know what to say.

“Because?” McCree prompted with a smile. “Please tell me it was out of _love_.”

Hanzo opened his mouth to reply, a slight shade of pink appeared over his cheeks, but it was on that moment when Angela and Ana arrived and took Jesse away to check on him.

“We'll finish this conversation later, darling.” the sharpshooter told the archer with a knowing smirk on his lips.

While the wound was not life threatening, the archer had become worried still. So, the moment their transport landed he waited a little, and killed some time by filling the mission's report and handed it over to Winston. Hanzo then found himself standing in the medical bay and without giving himself time to regret going there or doubt, he walked in and found Jesse siting on one of the beds, one of the cowboy's shoulders was covered in bandages.

McCree winked at the archer, “Long time no see.” he said, then signaled for Hanzo to move closer, “I believe there's a conversation we need to finish.”

In a moment of perhaps nervousness combined with madness, Hanzo stood by the bed and in a quick move, he kissed Jesse. And truth to be told, it had been more than what he had expected, as he believed that he would be rejected or mocked by Jesse. But none of that came to happen, in fact the archer smiled when McCree responded to the kiss eagerly while he was pulled into a more intimate embrace at the same time.

When their lips parted both men laughed, because somehow they had been rather blinded by their own doubts to see what the other felt.

 

“So that means you'll let me take you out on a date?”

 

“You can count on that cowboy.”

 

After those words a second kiss followed. They both wondered what would have happened if they had confessed sooner or what would have happened if they hadn't said anything at all. Still, all of those questions could wait. For now, they would bask in the presence of the other, both men being quite grateful that the other was alive.

 

A few months later, Jesse's lips traversed and mapped the scars over the archer's body, laying kisses over each one and whispering words of love.

 

**_The End._ **

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, Have a good day!


End file.
